Through His Eyes
by stephluvvsyou
Summary: Episodes of TSLOD re-written from Zack's pov. With Zondon goggles on.
1. The Suite Life Sets Sail

**AN : I know that I'm screwing myself over in the long run, taking on so many projects at once right now. And I'm about 99 percent done with part 3 of Attached At The Hit, but I've been wanting to write something like this for a while, and decided to go ahead and just post this. It's been lying dormant in my documents for about a month now. Part two has also been. I had the idea to do this, after reading a similar fic in the LWD section and thought, what a magnificent idea...I wonder if I can make that work with Zack. So credit for the idea goes to sugah because she did a hell of a good job with her version. And this isn't a copy of her work either, I definately did what I had to do to keep this a seperate idea without it actually being a seperate idea. Does that make sense? Point is, I have the uptmost respect for that author. And while Derek and Casey are crazily more canon than Zack and London, I've noticed the Zondon community slowly gaining followers as time goes on, so hopefully this fic will be something enjoyable for all of you in particular. Anywho, read, review, let me know if you want more!**

_Disclaimer : I do not own The Suite Life On Deck or any of the characters associated._

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Part One : The Suite Life Sets Sail

**X**

He silently curses himself for what must be the up-teenth time as he follows his twin brother down the deck of the giant cruise ship, where he'll be living out his high school years. Anyone who knows him - knew he must have been insane to even agree to come at all. After all, classes are easy to fail in any school for him, and he hates the idea of placing academics on something meant for leisure. I mean, who comes up with these crap ideas?

His mom is trailing behind him, and so maybe it's going to be a bonus not having her breathing down his neck every twelve seconds about girls, and F's, and about how pranking people isn't an acceptable activity to put on an every day schedule.

Cody thought he'd gone crazy the moment he'd said leaving Maddie wasn't going to be that hard for him.

What his brother _did_ fail to ask was why he wanted to come along in the first place. A question he'd fortunately been able to dodge providing an answer for. When he told his mother he wanted to 'brighten his horizons by studying abroad', and that maybe he'd 'do better at sea', he was just feeding her the excuse he knew she'd want to hear. Cody had just given him a questionable stare, because he knew that answer was pure bullshit. But he'd left it at that. Thank God.

He wonders if the real reason he came was even worth it.

When he walks into the lobby of the cruise ship he's reminded that it instantly is, because there she is. The object of his complete affection…or lust…at this point he doesn't know quite what to call it, because he's pretty sure he's too young to be in love. Her arms are perched atop the desk counter. She's wearing an adorable orange hat and a dress that shows off a pair of particularly killer legs, and he makes a mental note, because he's pretty sure that _no one _else in this world could make a hat like that look so great.

She has no idea that the reason he's decided to come along to this 'floating-school-of-hell' is because of her, and that's the way he intends to keep it.

He'd decided that her leaving the hotel while he stayed behind was completely unacceptable. Because if she left, he wouldn't be able to see her beautiful face. At least not until Christmas.

Mr. Moseby is no doubt giving her some kind of lecture, and he springs forward to save her with a loud, "Hey Mr. Moseby."

Luckily, his brother was thinking the same thing, more or less, without thinking the _same _thing. So he didn't look like the lone idiot.

He hasn't been paying attention to anything his brother, mom, nor Mr. Moseby has been saying at this point, because he's too busy focusing on the girl that stands just behind the short desk manager, but he does manage to catch the words 'without you' and 'sheer torture'. So, to keep himself from staring any longer, because he's sure people are bound to catch on any second, he decides to throw in a 'well, you're suffering's over', but he can't help think that it's _his _suffering that's really over, because going that long without seeing London?

He'd rather die somewhere in the Bermuda Triangle.

He would never go through all of this trouble for any other female. If _only_ she knew just how much he was into her. He couldn't blow his cover though. _So_ many people would gasp, and sigh, and lecture. And as much as he hates not being able to tell London just how she makes him feel on a daily basis, simply by breathing…he hates being lectured even more so. But he feels pretty safe in his silent infatuation because he can always throw out that stupid lame excuse everyone uses when they're trying to convince themselves they're _not_ crushing on someone. Or _not _in love with the person. You know, the 'she's like a sister'. After which he usually gags, because the way he thinks about her one hundred percent of the time is _not _the way one would think of a sister. He doesn't even know why people buy that bunch of bullshit anyway. It's never true. But they always believe it.

Another thing he refuses to do, is tell her how he feels. Because he knows she'd reject him, and Zack Martin, just does not, and _will _not stand for rejection. And he figures one of the main reasons for his obsession with her is simply due to the fact that he can't have her. He doesn't like the fact that she's so effing unattainable, and oftentimes, he'll set up dates with girls who are hard to get, just so he can test new methods or ways to conquer the resistance. So that maybe one day…just _maybe _he can conquer her resistance as well.

After he and Cody receive the study schedule, he decides he should probably actually look at it, other than allow his attention to stay glued to the desk where London has retreated to get her manual, and he begins to wonder if they're going to be in class together, because if not, half of his purpose will have already been defeated in coming in the first place.

He realizes he's losing himself to thought again and starts absent-mindedly reading off the encyclopedia-sized schedule he has in his hand. When he reaches 'water sports', his mind is right back on her, because he's pretty sure if he has water sports with London, he might not be able to control his urges when she walks out in her high-priced bikini.

When his brother points out to him that he doesn't get to take water sports, it almost immediately saddens him because, if he's not taking water sports, then London isn't taking water sports. Of course, fate wasn't going to be _that_ nice to him. He'd have to actually pour some blood, sweat, and tears into devising some kind of scheme to get her in that bikini now.

He's a little disappointed when 'Bailey Pickett' shows up, because now he can't hang up the pictures of London he's had stashed from the hotel days. They'll have to remain in the small shoebox he keeps under his bed. Now that he has a roommate, he's got to function under the same facade everyone else sees. But what's one more person anyway?

Bailey Pickett seems like a strange guy, initially, but he does have a bikini top in his bag, so when Zack picks it up, he doesn't say anything because once again, his mind has gone straight to the gutter. And he's really, _really _got to get London in one of them. It's officially on his list of things to do at this point. His thoughts are ruined when Bailey tells him that it's his girlfriend's bikini top. So if he's going to have to pay some mind to this guy, he might as well ask him what his girlfriend is like.

Even though he's _sure _even without seeing her, that London would look better in that bikini than she would.

He's handed a bathroom schedule. Which he automatically knows is going to be a problem, because now that he's on the same boat with London, and with as often as she's on his mind, cold showers are an absolute _must_. Because sometimes he goes _really _deep into thought about her, and when he starts thinking about her tanned skin, and her long silky black hair, and her body which is curved to perfection...and what he would _do _to that body if he had half the chance...

Oh shit. It's happening right now, and he's literally about to blow his cover in front of his new roommate, which is the last thing he needs. Especially considering it'd be rather hard to convince this guy he's straight, if he notices the enormous hard-on he just managed to give himself simply by entertaining thoughts of London.

So, in a half-panic state of mind, he grabs the closest thing to him, which happens to be a hairbrush. Why this guy has one in the first place he doesn't know, because he doesn't seem to have hair at all unless he's got it all balled up under that hat he's wearing. Which he supposes is a possibility. Or maybe it's his girlfriend's hairbrush.

He turns his back towards Bailey Pickett and tries to think of anything, _anyone _other than London, which unfortunately is difficult for him to do since she's on his mind damn near all the time. He taps his back a couple of times with the brush before Bailey emits, for the second time, a squeak that sounds awfully female like. When Zack turns back around, he uses the brush to cover what's left of his remaining bulge, but Bailey reaches forward and grabs at it. So he takes a couple of steps back towards the door, and tries to make it out of the room before Bailey takes his 'cover', but it's grabbed as he steps halfway out, and pulled from his grasp.

"I cannot believe you used my hairbrush to scratch your back."

Despite the fact that Bailey seems a little upset about the 'brush incident', Zack's relieved beyond belief, because he managed to make it out of the room without his roommate noticing his slight screw up back there. He realizes he must look panicked, but it's only because he was sure he'd been found out. Scratching his back? Of course he'll run with that.

When he notices his brother is standing behind him, he decides to literally scratch his back with the brush. Because seeing as how Bailey left it behind, and that _was _the excuse, it's only right to play off of it.

The next day when class starts, he doesn't know whether to be stoked that he actually _does _have class with London, or pissed off, because the girl that managed to wedge her way in between himself and his entire reason for being there, is blocking out his view of London's ass. But when she trails after the teacher, Miss Tutweiller, he manages to steal a couple of glances, and decides that even though he can never get enough of her to be satisfied, it'd have to hold him over for the time being. When the kid with glasses standing next to him asks him why he seems to be spacing out, he decides to divert his attention by suggesting the feeding of the small octopus that he's just spotted.

But he's quickly come to another dilemma, and this not only messes with his thought process, but also with his masculinity. He can't seem to get the jar of food open, and so thank God London actually did step out of the room, because he simply would not be able to stand looking like a weakling in front of her.

When his brother loses his shorts, he's even happier that London is not in the room. Because she would have to make fun of Cody somehow. But to make fun of Cody, she will have had to notice his shorts were down, and then her attention would be directly on his...

Shit. Someone's coming. Miss Tutweiller comes in, and her eyes are immediately drawn to Cody's boxers-slash-lack of shorts. Zack's fingers are crossed. He hopes London doesn't come in, because he doesn't want to have to pummel his brother for something like losing his shorts, all because London took a gander at him. A few moments later, he's relieved, because she doesn't come. After his brother fixes his shorts problem, though, he hopes she will return, and wonders why she hasn't, because he needs something to look at again.

Bailey Pickett beats him to the shower, because during the whole 'Cody-loses-his-shorts' fiasco, the small octopus also squirted them all right in the face. But unfortunately for Zack, London had mentioned taking a dip in the hot tub after lunch, and there was just no way in hell he was going to miss out on that. So he's in a hurry, and this jerk isn't helping out his odds of seeing London in that bikini. So he pounds on the door and demands that Bailey hurries. That and also the fact that images of London in skimpy swim wear are flashing in his head and quickly becoming a problem for his manhood again.

He doesn't know whether to laugh or cry when he discovers that his roommate? The guy that moved in and he had tried so feverishly to hide his hard on from? Isn't actually a guy at all. He's a she.

This however, could totally work in his favor. So when she begs him not to tell anyone that she applied as a guy so she could get a spot in school, his mind goes to work thinking of all the ways he could actually benefit from this. She could help him keep an eye on London. Of course, only during the times he wasn't keeping one on London himself. But there were sure to be instances in which he wouldn't be around her. And if he could just convince her to somehow make friends with the heiress, even though that's a hard task, his work-load would be cut in half. He's smiling like a mad man. He feels it. Maybe Bailey could tell him if there was another guy on the ship making a move on London. So then he could eliminate the competition. Maybe Bailey could alert him when London planned on taking a dip in the hot tub. Maybe-

Ahh fuck. The hot tub!

Of course, when he shows up, he shows up too late. London is nowhere to be found.

Damn the luck.

Fortunately for Bailey, Zack's an expert at making up excuses on the spot. So when she almost blows their cover in front of Cody and Woody (the kid with glasses from the classroom earlier), he's able to divert their attention and eject himself from the conversation. He thinks it'll be a perfect opportunity to talk his end of the bargain for upholding Bailey's secret over a game of pool, but to be on the safe side, maybe he should try to at least make it as private as possible. He stands at her side and when he leans down to help her shoot the next ball in the pocket, he's just getting ready to attempt to convince Bailey to make room for a new BFF, when of course, his brother displays his impeccable timing and ruins it all, and he finds himself once again, coming up with an excuse on the spot as to why he was leaned in so closely to 'another guy'.

A moment later, when London stomps herself into the room, upset about being stuck on the ship, all he can do is point out that her favorite game is available to play, because he hates it when she's upset, but loves how easily she is to fix when she's just throwing a minor fit. He races to her side, hoping to be on her team because maybe just _maybe _he'll be close enough for the first time since arriving to smell the coconut flavored shampoo she always uses. And just _maybe _he can brush up against her a few times.

However, instead, he has to hide his frustration because she wound up on the very end by his brother.

He attempts to be a man. Act as a hero next, when they've discovered the ship could possibly be sinking. He gets a good head start over Cody and Bailey, and has it planned that London will be directly in front of him, and that if he has to wrap his arms around her and carry her off this ship he'll gladly do so to serve his country. Strike Two. She runs the complete opposite way.

Could this day get any worse?

It can. Because when he points out life jackets, and briefly feels her small body roll across his backside, finally thinking he's getting lucky, despite the fact that the horns are still going off, and they are in fact, going to sink, he turns his head to see that once again, she's gravitated over to the other side of his brother. Strike Three. If now was the time to kick the crap out of his luckier twin, he just might, because then, after all the running, all the shouting, all of the _attempts _just to simply be close to her, Cody also gets to put her life jacket _on _her.

Well. Maybe that was for the best. Because it's quite possible his hands might have tried to grab a handful of something else during the whole 'putting-on-life-jacket' process. Still, he whacks Cody lightly with his arm and diverts his attention to the exit. Just in case his brother is thinking the same thing. Although he knows he isn't.

When they all somehow shove out of the 'exit' at the same time, he finally gets his chance to be close to her, but it doesn't last long because they land in the water. He doesn't realize he has his arm wrapped around her so tightly until she bellows in his ear a question of the ocean being hot, but he hopes she takes notice to the fact that she fits perfectly in his grasp. Despite the obvious and, (some would say), more important issue that they've just gone overboard.

He's only upset about one remaining thing at this point. And it's not the fact that the whole time this buzzer had been going off, it was just a drill. It wasn't the fact that they landed in the hot tub.

It's the fact that London isn't wearing her bikini right now.

He has no problem defending Bailey when his brother, London, Mr. Moseby, and well, everyone finds out her secret. Because now it'll just be easier to find out whose been giving London 'the eye', and who she talks about when she's upset, and where she plans on being for the day. Because girls talk to each other. And Bailey seems gullible enough that she would tell him what London's up to if he asks, because he could always just give her that excuse that he's known London for years and blah blah blah.

So he defends her. He defends the hell out of her. Cause at this point if she's removed, he'll have to stalk London himself, and while he does it to a certain extent already, it'd be much easier having an inside man on the job. Or...woman. Whatever.

He can feel his brother's eyes on him as he feeds Mr. Moseby and Miss Tutweiller excuses as to why Bailey stays, and he realizes he's probably being a little too over the top about this. Once again, Cody probably knows he's full of shit, so maybe he should just give up. His beautiful heiress ends up saving the day at the end of it all, and gets mad when she has to give up half the rights to her cabin. To Bailey.

His former roommate now gets to be London's roommate. Which just makes _everything _completely perfect. Except for one thing.

As the girl of his every fantasy and every dream storms off angrily, his view of her ass is once again obstructed.

By that small fucking octopus.

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**AN : Hopefully Zack didn't seem too pathetic. And I hope you all enjoyed. Up next : Roomies. **


	2. Roomies

**AN : Hey everyone! Wow it's been...forever and a day since I've updated anything that I have here. Like...two years forever. I'm so sorry to everyone who has followed this story and has waited for this story to be updated. (And my others as well). I always have been terrible at keeping up with stories here. Plus I get involved with other sites - contributing and helping. It's just...blah. Anyways, I actually had half of this sitting around on my storage drive, and when I was going through cleaning it out, I found it and thought I really should finish and upload it. So, here it is. I know this is late - but I appreciate all the reviews for the previous part. I would like to continue doing these. They're a lot of fun to write, but I don't want to promise an update just yet...because well...look at how it's been. SIGH. Well, I hope you all do enjoy this addition. - Happy Holidays!**

_Disclaimer : I do not own The Suite Life On Deck or any of the characters associated. _

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Part Two : Roomies

X

He's stoked because he finally has the place to himself. It's a perfect bachelor pad. Disco light, candy counter, foozeball table. Basically everything he would ever want. He just needs to hang up his pictures of London, and then it will be paradise. He hasn't put them up yet, because Woody just _had _to see the finished product. And he has a date. With some girl named Tiffany he randomly spotted on the deck. He knew once Woody caught the drift that he was transforming his cabin into a bachelor pad, he'd be buzzing about. The date is going to be the excuse to get Woody to leave. She'll show up. Then about ten minutes later, he'd feign some kind of headache or stomach pain and show her out the door.

That's why Woody is here now. So he can hurry up and get this ridiculous 'show and tell' out of the way. He's got things to do. Pictures to hang. And now Woody is saying he'd never leave if the addition of pizza and a big pile of meringue were present? He makes a mental note to move pizza night to Cody's room, and…well what the hell is meringue anyway? He knew Woody wasn't going to want to leave anyway, so he lets him know casually that the girl Tiffany would be arriving soon.

He wonders for a brief moment if London would be impressed with his room. He definitely wants to have her over sometime. Maybe the pictures are doomed to forever stay in his shoebox.

He only half heard Woody bumbling on about what impresses girls. The only girl he cares about impressing is London, and she has no idea. He's more interested when Woody sits in Mr. Moseby's broken recliner. But that just ends in disaster, and he'd rather not even think about it.

And now he's got to go smooth things over with a girl he had no interest in, in the first place.

When he gets back to his room, he's a bit shocked to see Mr. Moseby in there, and even more shocked that some kid he's never even seen before is claiming his personal private space as his own. Mr. Moseby has some explaining to do. And after finding out that he's been paired off, yet again, he wishes the nametag would have pierced the damn short man's heart.

A couple hours later though, he's feeling a little better about it. Because guess who decided to perch her lovely self atop a stool at the smoothie counter? Yep. And so maybe Woody is a minor annoyance, but he can't very well tell Woody to leave right now. He's keeping up a charade. It's amazing how often he has to remind himself of that. And now there's just one more new person along for the ride. He doesn't want to share his room. Hell, he really doesn't want to share the bathroom. And he definitely doesn't want to have to spend more time making another friend, thus dipping into the time he uses to admire…the thing of beauty that's currently right in front of him.

After a year of having to hide his hard-ons, he feels like he's earned that room. Apparantely London is still bitter that she now has a roommate. Bailey. His old one. And she's blaming him for this?

Well. That's okay. She can blame him if she wishes.

Now Bailey has decided to come and slander London, and if the subject isn't changed, Zack just might go off on his former 'guy' friend. So the shift is put back on his new roommate, because he really doesn't want to explain himself when he blurts out that London is 'perfect', and if she thinks Bailey is stupid, then she is.

He introduces London first, when Marcus shows up unexpectedly to ruin his privacy with his friends. He's sure his privacy will be ruined often from now on, but doesn't like the way he smiles towards her when she asks him what 'everywhere' is like. He can't control himself, he's out from behind his counter before he knows it. Thank God for Bailey. Maybe she caught on. She's standing between them. And it's a damn good thing.

He's not sure who Marcus reminds Bailey of. But he reminds Zack of the last sorry son of a bitch that made eyes like that at London. Other guys having an interest in her is simply unacceptable, because she's his girl. She just doesn't know it yet.

He leaves pretty quick.

He didn't even get a chance to pull him to the side and quietly threaten him. Maybe he noticed that he was glaring at him? That's okay. He knows where he sleeps.

Just because he got away before he could warn him doesn't stop him from telling his friends what he thinks though. He doesn't like this guy.

He can't find his shoebox. He can't find it, and he's not okay with not knowing where it is at all times. He's looked through everything, except for his new roommate's things, and he swears to God if he finds _his _pictures of London in his stuff, so help him, he will…

He can't even fathom what he'll do to the sorry bastard. He storms over to his side of the room and grabs his black shower bag, before beginning to rifle through it. He needs to prepare himself. He's looked everywhere else, what other explanation is there other than he took them? The way he looked at her earlier… And how ridiculous is it that he'd look through his shoebox? He swears when he sees him again, he'll…

Shit. Busted.

"Find what you're looking for?" he asks.

No. Actually. And maybe that's better for him, because if he'd have found her pictures in his things, he'd be getting his ass beat right now. But he has no proof yet, so he has to continue operating under the idea that he doesn't have them. So he grabs the first thing he can and puts on his game face.

"Look if there's something you wanna know about me, just ask."

Do you have my pictures of the most beautiful woman to ever exist? Nope. Can't say it, so. "Are you in the witness protection program?" comes out instead. He knows it's stupid, but he had to come up with something fast. Even if it's Woody's dumb hunch.

His mom's a cop and his dad's a judge? Fuck. Zack knows at this point, threatening this guy is completely out of the question.

He's a little shocked when he finds out his new roommate is a celebrity. Or…rather…former celebrity. What he absolutely can't tolerate though, is London's impressed sounding tone of voice when Woody reveals the big secret. So what if Marcus is mad? As long as he learns some boundaries, then all will be fine between himself and 'Lil Little'.

But now he's got to waste more of his afternoon talking the guy out of leaving, because he still hasn't found his pictures, so maybe if he's nice, he'll just admit to the thieving and hand them over. He's even willing to put the whole thing behind him if he could just get them back in the first place, damn it.

He figures he's going a little overboard though when he gets the wild and bright idea to show Marcus how to have fifteen years of fun in one day. No wonder he never passes any classes. He's not exactly the sharpest beach ball out there.

They're riding tricycles when he hears London and Mr. Moseby in what seems to be a pretty heated argument, so he leads Woody and Marcus behind him, because if he's going to spend his day doing these ridiculous things, he's at least going to make time to look at her when he can. So he runs over an old lady, and nearly Mr. Moseby, after her retreating form, and answers 'yes' to a question he really didn't even pay attention to. He just knows he has to speed up his tricycle. London's getting away and the way her hips bounce when she's stomping around is something he hates missing.

During their next activity he purposely intends for London to be the target of the water balloon prank. Why? Well, hot girl + soaking wet = even more hot. And he needs his hourly fill of her or he's not going to be able to continue entertaining his roommate. And if that happens, he may never get those pictures back, which, at this point, he's about fifty percent convinced are in Marcus' possession.

There's a flaw in his plan. Marcus has stopped him, and then has the audacity to ask him why he's about to throw a balloon at one of the hottest girls on the boat. The audacity wasn't the fact that he was stopped. It was the fact that London wasn't 'one' of the hottest girls on the boat, she was 'the' hottest girl on the boat. But she was his, so he made sure to remind Marcus that he was nine, and didn't like girls. In the meantime, he would be fifteen and probably have to do everything in his power to not get off on this. But it was worth the risk.

When Marcus calls her 'cutie' though, Zack completely loses his train of thought, and has to do everything in his power to not glare at the guy. Still, it causes him to launch a mere second too late. So not only is his plan of perfectly wet eye candy ruined, but he's accidentally bombed Mr. Moseby instead. Now he'll have to lie like hell to get out of detention, and he's 60% sure that Marcus has his photos. Fuck.

Basketball is off to a rough start. Because not only is London looking particularly ravishing in her attempt at sports attire, but he's got to pretend to not be interested, as opposed to drooling all over the deck. Because everyone else is watching. And it's bullshit that Marcus is able to make ga-ga eyes at her and he's not, but he's got to keep his feelings on the down-low.

One thing that's going to be a challenge though, is keeping Marcus' eyes off of her, so he reminds him of the fact that technically they're not into girls until after dinner. And even after dinner he's not allowed to be into London, but they'd cross that bridge when they got there.

It's also bullshit that Marcus is now guarding London. Damn it. This only further proves that he doesn't think things through well enough, because now he's going to be distracted all game trying to make sure Marcus doesn't lay a single finger on her. And he's putting her on his team, because maybe then he'll have an excuse to 'accidentally' run him over or smack him right in the face with the basketball.

So he tells London to pass the ball to him, because he's got to do something, anything to keep her attention away from dumb Marcus, and his dumb guardianship. He puts emphasis on 'me', and swears if he sees Marcus' eyes even so much as glance in the direction of her ass while she's trotting off, it'll be on like donkey kong.

Now he's taken on two challenges. Marcus. And keeping London's attention off of him. This was going to suck. He just simply knew it. But what could be worse than this?

When London passes the ball to Marcus, and her excuse to his questioning is because 'he thinks I'm cute', and Marcus' arrogant, 'Yes I do' comes in response, he realizes that he's awfully good at jinxing himself. And Marcus SO took his pictures.

He's decided he can't do this anymore. After fighting the urge to whack Marcus in the head with one of the toilet seats they'd stolen for taking his pictures, and after finally announcing that they can be into girls because they were now fifteen, he seen the wheels in 'Lil Littles' head turning. He's just simply got to rid the boat of his presence completely, but he can't threaten him. So he'll settle for pissing him off, and tells him Tiffany, the same girl he used for an excuse earlier with Woody, would like his autograph.

So when Marcus does get mad, and says he 'should have known better', Zack can't help but match him with an annoyed tone in return, because he's sacrificed an entire day being nice to this jerk-wad, and still he hasn't gotten his pictures back.

"The only reason you hung out with me today, is so that you could use me like everyone else."

Zack tries not to laugh at this. He responds with an irritated yet melancholy, 'that's not true', because it simply isn't. But he'll hear him out. Last minute confession is still welcome.

"Oh so you don't care if I don't give you the autograph?"

"Absolutely not." Zack answers back, because he's thinking 'But I do care that you took my pictures and I want them back. Now.' So when Marcus storms off mad, he's even more annoyed. And he's going to have to think of something clever before he does something drastic. And what's even worse is that he doesn't have an autograph for Tiffany. And he kind of told her he'd get her one after being such a douche earlier today.

Alls well that ends well for Tiffany in the end anyway. She got her autograph and threw herself into Zack's arms. He can't help but feel somewhat thankful to Marcus for bailing him out with her, but he makes it worse when he throws her in the floor, and well, he might actually be able to be friends with this guy. Because he ended up finding his pictures after all. Marcus never had them. He'd just forgotten about the fact that he'd moved them out of the shoebox and into his locked trunk for safekeeping during his whole 're-arranging' that morning. Maybe it was possible he had a fraction of a brain left.

And just maybe if he hurried, he could beat Marcus back to the cabin before he walked in and found literally all of his belongings dumped in a big pile in the middle of the floor.

Hey. Drastic times had called for drastic measures.

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**AN : Hope I still have the touch. Until next time!**


	3. Kitchen Casanova

**AN : Hey guys :) I just want to say a HUGE THANK YOU to everyone who came back to read this story, after such a seriously long period of dead time. It meant the world to me, really, to receive that feedback. I want to take a moment to give some personal feedback to those of you who did in fact review : **

**gomez lili **- I really thank you for your review! I enjoyed reading it, and enjoyed the suggestion of additional dialogue. I think, with this story, the idea I have for it, is to follow the actual episode as much as possible (albeit Zack's mental thoughts). Though at times, I will definitely add some things. I'll do my best to impress you with what's here.

**PurpleLover2012 **- Hey! I hope you had a great New Year! Thank you for your support! :)

**owlhero **- Really really enjoyed your feedback. I think since I'm trying to 're-write' actual episodes (without actually re-writing them / if that makes any sense) - the only way to tackle it, is mostly Zack's mental state. Since the thoughts I'm portraying him having, weren't his actual thoughts on the show. I wanted to recreate the episodes with the point of view of Zack always having had feelings and/or an infatuation with London. So, to try to hold true to the actual structure of the episodes, his mental state of mind is the biggest part of it, and a part I can actually work with since it doesn't involve manipulating the real dialogue. Because if I tried to work off actual dialogue, I wouldn't have near as much to work with. But I'll still probably throw in some non-canon 'happenings' here and there, simply because to make certain things work I think I'll have to. (Not crazy big things, but little, subtle things that won't actually change the episodes real events). But oh my gosh. Thank you again so so much for your feedback!

**HigherSilver **- Ahhh! It's nice to hear from you! It's been forever! So it really made me glad to see your review. I'm glad you're still here! And thanks so much for coming back to support me after so long! I have high hopes of mainstaying for a while. I really hope to stick around. So I definitely look forward to talking with you more! HUGS!

- Thank youuuu :) I'm glad you liked it!

**Well, once again guys, thank you so much for your kind words. It genuinely brightens my day. :) I also wanted to let you guys know that, I do know these are out of order from the actual 'episode' list. But I'm just going to work in the order of my imagination with these. So the chapters will jump seasons. I apologize in advance for that. I just feel like to do them in order would make it more difficult when my imagination has it's heart set on a particular one. **

**I really hope you guys enjoy this one! :)**

_Disclaimer : I do not own The Suite Life On Deck or any of the characters associated._

* * *

Part 3 : Kitchen Casanova

**X**

He's never really been that terrible at art, truthfully. In fact, when he's in his head, he can paint a beautiful picture of what his future with London would be like, should he ever reveal that secret. He bets on no, though, so thank God for endless imagination.

The point is, he purposefully failed art class - the one class he could have actually passed, simply because London did.

And now he gets to sit next to her in the make-up class. Which, his lovely heiress has mistaken for an actual 'make-up' class. She's so cute when she misunderstands things. Fortunately for Zack, that's an everyday thing.

Still, he doesn't want Cody to have the privilege of tutoring her for failing the 'make-up' class, because that would give her one-on-one time with his damned twin, thus taking away from his time to follow her, or hit on her at the smoothie counter. In a subtle way, of course.

And since Miss Tutweiller already threatened that just that would happen in such the case - Zack wants to make sure she passes it.

What he doesn't expect is for her to brush his face with her make-up brush and cause him to sneeze all over his canvas. Now he's just embarrassed. London would never have a future with a man who sneezes pudding out of his nose. What the heck is he supposed to do in this situation?

She's even covering her mouth to keep from laughing.

Well.

_Fuck_.

Not only can he not keep her from failing class again, but now he looks like a jackass in front of the most beautiful girl on the ship.

It's not fair.

**X**

He's in his head again. Imagining the kind of house he and London will live in after being married, and since he can't paint himself and London for the actual assignment, he's settled for painting the bowl of fruit that will be the centerpiece for their table. He's quite proud of it, actually. No one will ever guess.

"Zack!"

His princess herself has just waltzed into his room, and he was so thrown off by her sudden arrival, and the fact that for once, she's coming to him and not the other way around, that his hand slides upwards and streaks his canvas. Why did he have to be so accident prone?

"My painting..." he whines as he focuses his eyes on her. Now that he's looking at his future spouse, he feels silly for painting it. London would never allow that kind of centerpiece.

When his every heart beat tells him she has a problem, and that it's because she's figured out she must hand in a painting to not fail the make-up class, his first thought is that she absolutely cannot have the fruit centerpiece. He doesn't want to look like an idiot in front of her again, and he can just hear her now, saying, 'Ew! I wouldn't feed starving children in Africa out of a bowl like that!'

Plus he worked really hard on it. So he makes sure to take it away from her before she can study it too well.

What really surprises him though, is that she settles for the 'pudding' painting. Something that he was completely humiliated for earlier. Something that made him feel as if he had no pride left as a man. But she wants to buy it for twenty bucks.

He really doesn't want to let her walk away empty-handed, because when she 'has a problem', he wants to fix it for her. He wants to be the only one, that fixes it for her. So what would it be? Give her the painting that will only remind her that he sneezed pudding like an idiot? Or let her fail and then tutor with Cody?

He can only think of one answer.

Plus now he's twenty dollars richer.

Maybe his luck is finally looking up.

**X**

Originally he was going to buy an 8 foot churro with the twenty dollars London gave him. But since his imagination is so overactive these past couple days, he decided to spend it on more paint supplies.

Since he's really unsure if he'll ever really live out his fantasy with London, there's no reason why he can't still dream. He'll just hide the paintings of his future with London, alongside his shoebox full of photos of her.

He realizes that to most people, he probably seems pathetic. But what right do they have to judge him? He's been in love... well... he's been infatuated with London for years. He's still not quite sure it's love. Isn't he still too young? The point is, having these feelings for someone you can't ever have are hard to deal with.

So everyone can kiss his ass.

**X**

He's so excited to get a text from London saying 'Cum 2 my ruum!'

Because not only did she just demand him 'cum' to her room, but she also caused a plethora of dirty thoughts to surge through his brain.

Best. Day. Ever.

He briefly ponders what kind of paintings his mind could create now that it's been plunged into these kinds of depths, and realizes that his girl will have to wait on him for a few minutes. He's got to fix the problem that's getting bigger by the second. He scoffs, annoyed at himself. On a daily basis, he has to run to the bathroom more times than a 70-year-old.

So he sprints to her room now, not even stopping to apologize to Cody for accidentally running him over in the hall.

When he gets there, however, he's baffled by the fact that she only wants him to sneeze another painting for her. Look like an idiot in front of her again? Make himself that more unattractive to her? Give her another reason to laugh at him?

No way. Nope. Not going to happen.

Not to mention he's now disappointed that she didn't want him to 'cum' to her room for something more important. Like making out. Or smashing her body against that wall and...

She's offering to pay twenty bucks again? Sweet! He was running low on pink paint. A color he desperately needed for one of London's honeymoon outfits.

Okay fine. He'll sneeze for her.

He's pretty sure he'd actually do anything for her. Quite honestly.

But he needs more out of this visit, so when he drinks the gravy, he runs immediately to her clothes bin and pulls out a feathery scarf. He's going to inhale as much of her scent as possible, because if it's enough, he won't care that he's humiliating himself in front of her again - despite the fact that this endeavor ended up having a couple of perks.

He's waiting for her to laugh at him, after he splatters the canvas with the gravy, but she doesn't. She scampers over to him to give him his twenty. He's so excited. Now he can continue his secret project, and get that pink paint. But he can't help but wonder for a split second... Maybe the pink paint should be used for an evening gown. The one that she would wear the night that he would lay her down on the big king sized bed, and...

Oh God.

No no. Not this again.

Thank God she hurried him out. Hopefully she didn't see that.

He sprints back to his room, scolding his brother on the way back because he's still in the hall, and once again, has been barreled over. But it's his fault. He's the one that's in the way. And Zack has places to get to. Fast.

**X**

Later that day, when he spots an older woman on deck carrying around the painting he gave to London, so that she wouldn't fail the make-up class and have to tutor with Cody, his curiosity is peaked. Where did this woman get it?

When the woman explains to him that she bought it for thirty dollars, Zack's upset. Not only is London withholding funds from him that he could be using to paint her in that beautiful purple lingerie, but she's selling the paintings he's had to humiliate himself in front of her to give to her. Is nothing sacred? Does she not know how embarrassing it is for him to make himself look like a disgraceful human being in front of her?

And the fact that tutoring with Cody is now looking inevitable?

Oh, he'll have a word with her alright.

**X**

He's pounding on her door. "London! You open this door immediately!"

"Okie dokie."

He hears her voice from behind. Her sweet, angelic voice. When she passes by him, he's knocked off course by her wonderful smelling hair, and the way her hips sway, and oh my gosh... how could he be mad at that?

When the door is shut in his face, he quickly remembers the magnitude of the situation, and pounds on it again. When she lets him in, he's perfectly prepared to actually be pissed off at her.

But the way she smiles, waves at him, and says, 'Oh. Hi Zack!', only renders him speechless. He has to look away. Because now it's just pissing him off that he can't stay angry over this entire situation.

He mentally slaps himself. He could really let her have it if he could just remember why he's so mad at her in the first place. Instead, all he can think about is her smile, her eyes, her lips, her beautiful hair. And now he's huffing and puffing like an idiot. Not to mention, he feels a problem could quickly be plaguing him below the belt.

Fuck all.

When she inquires on why he's not sneezing on another canvas for her, all he can get out is, "I know your secret." And he really hopes in return that she doesn't figure out his secret. Or at least see it. If the strained voice didn't give it away already.

If he can intimidate her just a little. Sell her on the whole persona that he's actually upset with her, he might be able to get to the bottom of this and make it out without completely making an ass out of himself. Which he has done wayyy too much in front of her lately anyway.

How the hell did this conversation get to her ears? He glances at a picture of her from a time ago, and all he can manage is a 'wow'. Because to him, even with the big ears, she still looked beautiful. And nothing has changed for him. She's still perfect.

And damn it. Does this woman want to take all of his fire power away? After everything he's tried so hard to do?

Keep her from failing make-up class and tutoring with his brother.

Well, okay. So maybe that's really more of his personal preference. While he knows his twin doesn't feel the same way about London as he does, he still prefers less one-on-one time between the two of them. Hey. His brother is a growing teenager also. And London is beautiful. 'Girlfriends' be damned.

Humiliating himself so that she can have a painting to turn in?

Okay so, really, he's probably the one that takes it the most serious. Afterall, London's memory fails her 99% of the time, and at any point, she probably won't remember any of this. But he sure as hell will.

Only giving him twenty dollars? Not the whole thirty?

Well, technically, the twenty dollars she's been giving him for each painting, is only going to his own personal fantasy filled imagination. Along with his daily amount of stalking, and cold showering - adding this to the mix might actually be crossing the line of unhealthy.

Wait, what? Is he completely incapable of being furious with her?

"No, I'm talking about you selling my paintings for a profit!"

Yep. His tone isn't even angry. It's whiney. He's disgusted with himself.

When she tells him that she has 'expenses', he's truly baffled. What else could she possibly need to buy? Of course, he would never want her to be deprived of anything she truly wanted. But, I mean...come on, really?

"Frames, and ... hooks. Outfits to wear when I buy frames and hooks."

He can only throw his hands up in the air now. How can he argue with this? He loves seeing her in new and skimpy clothes everyday. So now, he's feeling a bit selfish. He's arguing with her about not sharing money with him, when really, she has - and he just wants it for a reason he'll never be able to share with her.

And now he's just embarrassed himself in front of her for an all new reason. He hasn't squeaked and spoke in such a high-pitched voice for some time now. God, he sounds like Cody.

Why? Why did he have to do this in front of her?

Well, one thing was for sure. If there was any remaining bulge left, it was gone now. He wondered if his manhood even existed anymore.

And so yeah, thirty thousand dollars might be more than he'd ever make in his entire life. And it might be sad. And she might be a 'friend' exploiting him.

But it is so not the point anymore.

On top of already feeling humiliated, again, now he's sneezed food again.

And now London's smiling at him again.

And now. Well. Does he really have to indulge in details? Guess it still does exist.

He grabs the canvas from her. He's got to pick up what's left of his pride and get the hell out of the room before it's too late. So he says something to her - he's not even sure of what language he used, and steals his last glance of her that he'll get for the time being while leaving her room.

After all, he can never get enough of her.

But after he slams the door, he hears her saying something about his accent.

Crap. What exactly did he say?

He decides he's going to hide in his room for a solid week.

No London for a week?

Which was better? Not seeing her at all? Or laying low until she forgot about every single thing he did wrong in there?

Fuck.

It was going to make for a long week.

He was going to need a lot of paint to hold him over.

When he decides to auction off some of his work, he doesn't expect his goddess to show up.

He can't take anymore humiliation.

She's changed her clothes.

She looks absolutely beautiful right now...

Nope. He can't go without her for an entire week.

No way. Never.

Why did he even contemplate that?

So now what does he do?

He sells her his latest sneeze piece for twenty bucks.

Because yeah, so, she may partially be the reason for why he had the most humiliating day of his life. And her 'daddy' just may be a douche bag. And sure, she could have shared more of her profits with him.

But honestly?

Who cares?

She's not going to fail the make-up class.

And wasn't that where this all started in the first place?

He's got twenty more bucks to finish one more piece of art.

He's here with her now. In her presence. His very reason for being on this ship. His very reason for getting out of bed everyday. And the only reason why, this time, he's going to be able to swallow his pride, or what he thought was a lack there of - because she's seemingly already forgotten about everything he did that made him look and feel like an idiot.

Instead she's talking about how she used to have big ears again. Her past embarrassment.

And if she can move on, so can he.

Hell. She was perfect then too. She always will be.

So he's going to savor this moment. This one-on-one time that he's managed to earn somehow. It's great for two reasons.

The obvious one, of course.

And the other one?

There will be no one-on-one time with Cody.

Mission complete.

* * *

**AN : Thanks for reading! I do have a couple questions for you guys - was this part easier to read with the addition of scene breaks? (The bold 'X' I use to separate the sections) And also - what episodes would you guys like to see done? Until next time! **


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